Your 2016 Horse Lords
TROJAN NATION
ODDS: 50-1
JOCKEY: Scubbledick Tublawyer
HOMETOWN: Horse Island
FUN FACT: Can't run and feels like a fat loser and ate too much soup.
SUDDENBREAKINGNEWS
ODDS: 20-1
JOCKEY: Brumpo Tungus
HOMETOWN: Your dad's grave
FUN FACT: Urban Farter.
CREATOR
ODDS: 10-1
JOCKEY: Flub Gubblestuff
HOMETOWN: Horse Heaven
FUN FACT: Airbrushes racy images on T-shirts down by the pier.
MO TOM
ODDS: 20-1
JOCKEY: Strimp Pimpswaller
HOMETOWN: Valley of the Horses
FUN FACT: Wants to fly to the moon...and blow it the hell up!
GUN RUNNER
ODDS: 10-1
JOCKEY: Jump Tigpickle
HOMETOWN: Cranston, Rhode Island
FUN FACT: Is the last thing you see before you die.
MY MAN SAM
ODDS: 20-1
JOCKEY: Plap Blabs
HOMETOWN: The Wide Horse Sea
FUN FACT: Grabbed a nun's buns.
OSCAR NOMINATED
ODDS: 50-1
JOCKEY: Farty Buttlard
HOMETOWN: Horse Desert
FUN FACT: Cobbs a mean salad.
LANI
ODDS: 30-1
JOCKEY: Barfbag McFartshirt
HOMETOWN: The Horse Kingdom Under the Sea
FUN FACT: Has one stupid arm.
DESTIN
ODDS: 15-1
JOCKEY: Scrumpy Scrimperelli
HOMETOWN: Danvers, Massachusetts
FUN FACT: Says cusses good.
WHITMORE
ODDS: 20-1
JOCKEY: Pringle Duckfather
HOMETOWN: Right behind you
FUN FACT: Invented the peer-reviewed urine test.
EXAGGERATOR
ODDS: 8-1
JOCKEY: Luggershed Pugsmeller
HOMETOWN: Horse River
FUN FACT: Goofed up on whoops day.
TOM'S READY
ODDS: 30-1
JOCKEY: Tiny Chunglefeather
HOMETOWN: Your mom's house. You know, the one she sits around.
FUN FACT: Now that's what I call horses!
NYQUIST
ODDS: 3-1
JOCKEY: Wurddington Chaps
HOMETOWN: Moon
FUN FACT: Loves Sharon Dick.
MOHAYMEN
ODDS: 10-1
JOCKEY: Chillbaby Drunkfather
HOMETOWN: Red Horse Square, Moscow
FUN FACT: Has some dank shit. Want some nugs?
OUTWORK
ODDS: 15-1
JOCKEY: Carl Carlsjunior
HOMETOWN: The Hoarse Horse Tavern
FUN FACT: You name it, she'll pickle it.
SHAGAF
ODDS: 20-1
JOCKEY: Cankles O'Hufferslug
HOMETOWN: That creepy barn
FUN FACT: Met Mark Wahlberg once and won't shut up about it.
MOR SPIRIT
ODDS: 12-1
JOCKEY: Pimby Pooppops
HOMETOWN: Elmer's Glue Factory
FUN FACT: Birther, anti-vaxxer, 9/11 truther, mother of two.
MAJESTO
ODDS: 30-1
JOCKEY: Munglord Yurpo
HOMETOWN: Horse Mountain
FUN FACT: This actually is her first rodeo.
BRODY'S CAUSE
ODDS: 12-1
JOCKEY: Twinklespot Jiffyloob
HOMETOWN: Horsetown, USA
FUN FACT: Knows the secret to success is murdering your way to the top.
DANZING CANDY
ODDS: 15-1
JOCKEY: Pog Derples
HOMETOWN: A growth on the side of might Zeus's head
FUN FACT: Not allowed back into the Nashville Shoney's for reasons he is not allowed to talk about.
